My Birth Story as A First Time Mom

Reading other mother’s birth story was one of my favorite thing to do during my pregnancy. I have benefited and learned from those birth stories. 

I have also understood how birth is such a unique experience for every mother, and even every birth is different from others. So I thought I would share my birth story, and at least a mother could benefit from it.  

Childbirth is not something we can control 100% as many things in life are not. It can unfold itself differently from the expectation we have. 

During labor, things can go easy and fast or complicated and long. I firmly believe a mother should be prepared mentally and physically for the things that could happen and have a flexible open mindset. 

As a society, we better talk about birth, postpartum, and related things often so that mothers are informed and familiar. Also, a medical provider’s support is critical. So having a supportive team is key for successful childbirth. 

Becoming a mother is a life-changing event on one hand. Giving birth itself is physically demanding on the other hand. So it can be a lot to take for a mother at a time. 

It is better if a mother is informed, supported, and not criticized about the choices she makes. Others should respect her choice. After all, it is her birth experience. 

Also, birth experience is a process that needs its own time. Allow and give time for a mother to process it. Unless she is ready and wants to talk about it, let’s not bring it up and say random things about her birth experience after. 

It can be a sensitive thing to deal with on top of the other postpartum issues. I am saying this because I was sensitive and couldn’t talk about it until a few months ago. 

If I say this much about the birthing experience, let’s directly jump into my birth story without further ado. 

My Birth Story 

I remember every single detail of the day I got a positive pregnancy test. I believe that is the very moment I become a mother. I swear, it is not an exaggeration. I noticed something inside me changed instantly the moment I knew I was pregnant.  

We were ready to have a child and trying, so I was tracking everything. I did the home test and knew I was pregnant in less than ten days of conception. 

A year ago, I read Mama Natural’s book (I recommend everyone to read it. It is the best natural pregnancy book.) So I was prepared, already taking prenatal vitamins, and aware of most of the things. 

Because of the things I have learned from the book and what I preferred, I saw a midwife and planning to have a natural birth without any pain medication in a birthing center. Also, my husband and I have taken a natural childbirth course. I will talk about what the birth center is and why I choose it at the end. Most people around me, though, especially people in our community, was not very supportive of me going to the birth center.

Let me give a little background about myself. It has been only one and half years since I settled and started living in the US. I came and visited in July of 2019. That’s when I got pregnant. I had to go back to Ethiopia, my home country, and arrange a few things before I came back and settled. I came back to the US in November when I was about 24 weeks pregnant. I am so grateful the birth center accepted me in the middle of my pregnancy and provided me the best service I deserve.

Thankfully, I had a peaceful and joyful time throughout my pregnancy, other than common mild pregnancy discomforts. During my last month of pregnancy, I was preparing, nesting, and doing all the things a mother could do to welcome our baby. 

It was mid-March of 2020. I was 39 weeks pregnant. I have already started experiencing Braxton Hicks.

Braxton Hicks are mild contractions. They are also known as “practice contractions” that tone the uterus in preparation for actual labor. They don’t cause any changes to the cervix. These contractions don’t last long like actual labor. Also, the tightening and cramping decreases in intensity with rest, fluids, or time.

During that week, World Health Organization (WHO) announced that the COVID-19 virus spread is a global concern (a pandemic). Things were slightly scary and uncertain. 

But little thing we know, we assumed everything would be the same and planned a lot of things. After a few days, when I was in labor, the state we’re living in, Texas, got a locked-down measure and things went upside down. 

So imagine the time I gave birth. It was the start of a pandemic and chaotic time!! 

Back to my birth story, my labor started on Sunday night. I was timing and tracking it. It was at an early stage. But Because I had my 39 weeks check-up on Monday morning, we went to the birth center and got checked. I was only 2 cm dilated. 

Then, we came back home. The contractions were strong enough, but they were not regular. I labor the whole day and night. We decided to go to the birth center in the morning. 

On Tuesday morning, contractions were strong but still irregular. When I got checked, I was still at 2 – 2.5 cm. It was devastating to know my contractions are not good enough to dilate my cervix. 

The midwife recommended that I rest and do some activities in between. And she explained that I am dealing with prodromal labor.

Prodromal labor is an irregular contraction that results in minimal cervical dilation. It is considered “false labor,” but it is a real labor (source). The frequency and severity of contraction increased in time.

I knew what prodromal labor is but never expected it would happen to me. I was very wrong. Anything could happen to me. – Lesson One 

Then, I did what she recommended. Strong contractions started Tuesday night around 10 pm, and I labor the whole night without sleeping. 

Still, my contractions were irregular, so I was tired of timing them. I labored on the bed, in the tab, on the floor. My husband wanted to call the midwife, but I thought I still have prodromal labor. 

I wanted to labor at home as much as possible or wait until the morning. The pain of contractions was getting stronger, but still, they were not regular. My husband suffered seeing me in pain and said we would call the midwife or go to the birth center in the morning no matter what. 

What I hated was them saying, “it is still prodromal labor” and sending me back home, so I swallow all the pain. 

On Wednesday morning, after a sleepless night, we called the midwife. I couldn’t even speak to her through the pain, so my husband spoke with her, and she said come to the birth center around 9:30 am. We got there on time and admitted. 

I was 5-6 cm dilated. We were so happy and excited to meet our little angel. We diffused lavender and sweet orange essential oils. Play slow music. My husband read mama natural’s affirmation cards. 

I labored in the tab, on the ball, on the bed, and did some walking. They said I was very good at coping with contractions. Contractions were coming in less than 3 minutes and lasting more than 1 minute. It was all good!! 

Get rechecked in about 2 hours. I was 7-8cm. At this point, I was shaking and feeling nauseous. I thought I was in transition to the final stage. 

I kept laboring; my doula was rubbing my back. Even though the contractions were painful as expected, it was peaceful. I was enjoying every moment and excited to meet our baby. 

However, I was not progressing further. I got rechecked after a couple of hours. I was still 7-8cm. 

At this point, my midwife suggested breaking my water. I said let’s give it an hour and she agreed. Again checked after an hour or so, no progress. I have done squats, labored in different positions in the tab as they suggested, and used the peanut ball but no progress. 

I got my water broken hoping it gets things faster. And she said if I haven’t progressed until 5/6 pm, It is better to start thinking about transferring to the hospital because I had labored for almost 3 days and we should not risk and get things complicated. 

She said my body is tired and seems not able to relax to dilate fully without pain medication. I disagreed with her. She didn’t push; she gave me the time I wanted, and she left the decision for us. I take a walk in the backyard. Do some light exercise to help my cervix open as per the doula suggestion. Get in the tab and labor with the ball, and try different positions. 

At this point, contractions were excruciating, and the pain was at my pubic bone. They said maybe it is because the baby is not in an ideal position, and he is trying to navigate through. 

I prayed to God to help me and do the right thing for me. 

After 6 pm, my husband, who watched me having all the pain since Sunday night, was very frustrated and said we should go to the hospital and get an epidural. I felt defeated!! 

Epidural is local anesthetics that act as pain medication, injected into the epidural space around the spinal cord that creates numbness from your belly button to your upper legs. Like every drug, it has its side effects. Read here to learn the side effects. 

You know how it feels that the thing you trusted and you were confident with is not working. When we finally decided to transfer to the hospital, I was not very happy because my plan didn’t work out. 

The hospital was very nearby. That’s how birth centers are usually arranged. My midwife has a connection there, and she made calls. The OB-GYN doctor who worked with her patients was on call that day, thank God. 

In general, the hospital is terrifying for me. That’s one of the reasons I choose a birth center on top of the other advantages. Luckily, the doctor was nice and very calm. The nurses were amazing. My midwife was with me the whole time. She explained every question they had, and she was advocating for respecting my birth plan as much as possible. 

Birth Plan is a blueprint of what choices you and your partner have made for the arrival of your child. It also helps your medical service provider support you during your labor and delivery in the best possible way. For e.g., we have included delaying cord clamping, no bath for the baby after birth, no pacifier, and other lists of things. Mama natural has free, easy templates here that you can customize as per your particular choice.

But as I was scared, the minute I got to the hospital, 4-5 people surrounded me, the wires, the needles, the monitor. It was a lot to me!! I felt like I was in an emergency rather than having a natural childbirth. 

The anesthesiologists were busy in the operating room, and there was another person before me. So I waited about 30 minutes or so to get the epidural. I wanted to pee, but I couldn’t. It was very painful. My body was exhausted; maybe even started swallowing down there. 

Plus, the hospital bed is not as comfortable as the birthing center. I understand it is designed for medical purposes. Also, my movement was restricted, and I was not even allowed to drink water. Because the hospital protocol doesn’t allow such things and generally speaking, they always think of the worst-case scenarios.  

While I was waiting for the epidural, I yelled at the nurses and asked why they are making me stay for so long as the reason I came to the hospital is for an epidural. I was not thinking clearly. They treated me as much as possible and explained, but I was upset and tired from the long labor. 

Finally, I got an epidural and was able to take a nap. After about two hours, I was fully dilated, 100% effaced, rested and refreshed, and ready to push. 

After everything settled, I thought to myself; hospital experience is not as bad as I was scared of. Sometimes it is not bad to get a little help. Lesson Two 

So I only pushed for 25 minutes, and the baby boy was delivered. It was almost Thursday, 11:50 pm. It was such an overwhelming moment when I saw our baby boy and held him. I cried and laughed at the same time.

 

It was surreal. In the blink of an eye, I felt like I had known this baby for a long time. It was so natural. I was thrilled with LOVE. It is the best thing that has ever happened in my whole life. 

He was a healthy boy and just perfect!! How amazing God is. We got our beautiful gift for life. He latched right away. We delayed cord clamping for about 3-4 minutes, and my husband cut the cord. 

Delaying umbilical cord clamping is good for the baby because it allows pulsation and blood transfers to the baby. As a result, billions of red blood cells, stem cells, white blood cells, and other necessary substances from the cord are passed to the newborn.

After Birth …

Because both the baby and I were in desirable condition, we got discharged from the hospital Friday morning. 

However, my mind can’t stop thinking about my dream birth plan. I kept thinking for days, even months. What did I do wrong? Why didn’t I have the natural birth I planned? Why did I allow to be transferred to the hospital? And so many questions come back and forth in my mind. 

It is not from a place of being ungrateful. I know a lot of difficult things could happen during childbirth. But at the time, immediately after birth, I felt that way. I couldn’t help but feel it and process it. 

Because it is my birth story, my experience that I walk through; because I have waited for nine-plus months, labor for three days, cried, blood, and tore, I had to take time and grief. I had to tackle all the questions, reason out, and change my perspective. Gradually as my body heals from birth, my mind and heart also heal.

Now I am grateful for the experience, the best service I have got, and the good thing that followed because of all the choices I have made. I have learned a lot and grow in it. That’s why I can able to share my birth story with all of you today.   

I am not here to compare myself with other mothers. I don’t have any intention to make mamas feel bad. I know every mother’s birth story is unique and has a whole meaning for herself as my birth story does. 

The Lessons I Take from My Birth Story 

1. I Can’t Control Everything. 

No matter how much I prepared, no matter how easy and peaceful my pregnancy is, no matter what I did, it is impossible to control everything. Sometimes things happen, and I might not understand why it happened at the moment. I should not punish myself for that. 

Instead, I should be more kind to myself. I shall take the lesson and move on. I shall focus on the bigger picture instead of magnifying minor annoyances. I shall be proud of myself for the choices I made even if the result is not 100 percent as planned.

2. I am Not Different from Others

The journey of motherhood, the birth experience I have passed through, postpartum, and related things make me more humble and compassionate. I am one mama walking this beautifully challenging motherhood journey with fellow mamas. No matter how my experience is different, we all are connected. 

3. Things Happen for a Reason

Even though I was not happy that my birth didn’t go exactly how I imagined it, I now understand why it happened that way. I have learned a lot from it. I am grateful for it, and I would do it again without a doubt.  

What is a Birth Center? and Why Do I Choose It? 

Birth Center is a home-like facility for giving birth. Birth centers provide family-centered care to expectant mothers. The primary service providers in the birth center are midwives. 

In a birth center, there are fewer medical interventions. Midwives are trained and specialized in supporting natural pregnancy and childbirth. Also, they understand the birth is an incredibly personal experience and that every woman needs to make choices for herself and her baby.

In a birth center, during labor, you can move freely, eat and drink, relax in a bathtub, and get all the comfort you could get in your house. Also, the midwives can come to your home and help you have a home birth if that is what you prefer. 

Birth centers are arranged inside or near a hospital, and they are affiliated with the hospital. Therefore, if an emergency or transfer is needed, like in my case, you will be transferred immediately and get the help you needed.

I choose a birth center because:

• It is safer for low-risk pregnancy  
• Pregnancy and birth is treated as a natural biological event
• It is a place where I can be supported and have minimal medical intervention for childbirth. 
• The service I get is personalized instead of the standard medical care I could get in a hospital. 

I believe there are times hospitals and conventional medical care are needed. I am happy they are there to give service and save lives. Also, I am so glad a choice of the birth center and midwife is available for those who need them. Incase you are interested to know which birth center I went to, it is called Bella Birth Center. I highly recommend it.

I hope my birth story gives some valuable information. Where did you give birth? What was the lesson you learned the most from your birth experience? I would love to hear from you. Let me know in the comment below.