Pros and Cons of Having Children with an 18-Month Age Gap

Being parents of our children who are only 18 months apart is the greatest thing that happened to us though we didn’t intend for it. 

I particularly was convinced having wider gaps between children is beneficial and having children closer in age is impossible to handle and bad for the children. But let me tell you, I was wrong! 

I will be honest. Having children closer in age can be challenging, but it is rewarding and worth all the effort. 

I am not here to convince anybody, undermine people’s experiences, or try to interfere in your choice whether you decide to have only one child or your children with wide age gaps. I am simply sharing our experiences with our children 18 months apart. 

This blog post will explore the advantages and disadvantages of having children 18 months apart. We will delve into the physical and emotional demands of caring for two young children so close in age and the potential benefits of having children who develop a strong bond and friendship early on. Let’s begin!

Advantages of Having Children 18 Months Apart

• Built-in playmate and friendship

One of the advantages of having children who are only 18 months apart is that they can develop a strong bond and friendship early on. Since they are so close in age, they may have similar interests and activities, making it easier for them to play and have fun together. They also learn from each other and develop social skills by interacting with someone at a similar developmental stage.f

Although our children are still very young, I have seen outstanding bonds and growing connections daily. 

Our son, the oldest child, is very protective of his little sister. And seeing his care for her is the cutest thing ever! 

Our daughter, the youngest, developed fast looking up to her brother, and she doesn’t have a problem playing with him or doing what he does the majority of the time. 

Because they play well together, we don’t have to plan for play dates often. We want them to interact with other kids and socialize, so we take them to the library regularly, let them play in public parks, and plan for play dates. Still, we don’t constantly worry or see our oldest needing someone to interact with him because his sister is always by his side. 

• Easier to manage schedules and activities

Another advantage of having children only 18 months apart is that managing their schedules and activities can be more manageable. 

As I said, our children do most things together, so we manage their schedules and activities. 

Now, they have similar routines and sleep patterns, making planning activities and outings easier. Also, we could potentially enroll them in the same classes and activities, saving time and money.

The only exception to this is the first year our daughter was born, meaning when she was an infant while our son was a toddler. That is the most challenging part of having children 18 months apart. I will address it in detail as a disadvantage below. 

• Time Management and Multitasking Skills

Being a mom of children only 18 months apart may help you develop time management and multitasking skills to benefit other areas of your life. You may learn how to prioritize tasks and manage your time more efficiently, as well as how to handle multiple demands and responsibilities at the same time.

I learned and grew so much after I became a mom of two. 

• Similar Developmental Stages

Having children only 18 months apart can also mean they are at similar developmental stages. This can make understanding and responding to their needs easier, as you may already have experience with what they are going through. You may also be able to use the same parenting techniques and strategies for both children.

Disadvantages of Having Children 18 Months Apart

• Physical and Emotional Demands

One of the most significant disadvantages of being a mom of 18 months apart children is the physical and emotional demands it can place on you. Caring for two young children so close in age can be exhausting, as it requires a lot of time, energy, and patience. You may also experience stress and anxiety from trying to balance the needs of both children.

I can attest to the physical demand, particularly when breastfeeding during pregnancy and tandem nursing or breastfeeding both simultaneously. Although it is something I did happily and always proud. (You can read in detail about my breastfeeding journey by clicking the links)

Self-care is essential; having a system for other parts of our life like work, house chores, etc., seeking help, and having a support system is critical otherwise, burnout is inevitable.

• Sleep Deprivation

Having children who are only 18 months apart can also mean that you may experience sleep deprivation for longer. Both children may still be waking up at night, making it difficult for you to get a good night’s sleep. This can also affect your mood, energy levels, and overall well-being.

What helped us tremendously was that our son was already sleep trained before I gave birth to our daughter. Which means he was sleeping through the night by himself in his crib. It was one of the transitions we intentionally did before our daughter joined our little family because we like to co-sleep for the first year of our children’s lives.

• Financial Strain

Having two young children so close in age can also put a financial strain on your family. You may need to buy two sets of everything, such as car seats, strollers, and clothes, which can add up quickly. You may also need to pay for childcare for both children, which can be expensive.

We reused everything our son used for the first year to minimize the financial burden. And everything he outgrows and makes sense to use for her, we ensure we don’t waste it—for example, toys, books, bikes, etc.

• Less One-on-One Time

Having two children who are only 18 months apart can mean that you have less one-on-one time with each child. It can be challenging to give each child the attention and focus they need, especially if they have different personalities and interests. This can also make developing a robust individual bond with each child difficult.

It helps us intentionally plan time for each child and divide time between me and my husband. For example, I spent much time breastfeeding when our daughter was an infant. So my husband spent a lot of time with our son. Therefore we had to plan time for me to spend with our son and my husband with our daughter. And adjust when they grow, and their needs change accordingly.

• Potential for Sibling Rivalry

Having children only 18 months apart can also increase the potential for sibling rivalry. Both children may compete for your attention and resources, leading to jealousy and conflict. It can be challenging to navigate this dynamic and help each child feel loved and valued.

Try to be conscious and acknowledge the challenge. There is always a solution to challenges when we recognize it.

Conclusion

Being a parent of 18 months apart children has its advantages and disadvantages. While it can be challenging to care for two young children so close in age, it can also be rewarding to watch them develop a strong bond and friendship early on. It can be helpful to develop time management and multitasking skills and find ways to give each child individual attention and support. Ultimately, being a mom of 18 months apart children requires a lot of love, patience, and flexibility, but it can also be one of the most fulfilling experiences of your life.

Therefore make a choice according to your situation and desire. What age gap between children is ideal for you? Share your experience with me in the comment box below.